Restroom Knowledge- Too Funny !!!

Beauty is only a light switch away. If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit. Men's Room At the feast of ego everyone leaves hungry. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. Make love, not war. -Hell, do both GET MARRIED! Women's restroom If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. If pro is opposite of con,then what is the opposite of progress? Congress! Express Lane: Five beers or less Sign over one of the urinals You're too good for him. Sign over mirror in Women's restroom No wonder you always go home alone. A Woman's Rule of Thumb>>>: If "IT" has tyres or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it !!! Women's restroom

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Countries with the lowest GDP per capita

Country	GDP per capita
1	Zimbabwe	$200
2	Congo, Democratic Republic of the	$300
3	Burundi	$400
4	Liberia	$500
5	Guinea-Bissau	$600
6	Somalia	$600
7	Central African Republic	$700
8	Eritrea	$700
9	Niger	$700
10	Sierra Leone	$700
11	Afghanistan	$800
12	Ethiopia	$800

http://www.aneki.com/countries.php?table=fb129&measure=GDP%20per%20capita&unit=$&order=asc&dependency=independent&number=100


Many other such like interesting facts are available at >>>>

http://www.aneki.com/

How Old Is Grandmother ?

One evening, a boy was talking to his grandmother about current events.

The boy asked his grandmother what she thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.

Grandma replied,

"Well, let me think a minute, I was born before:

Television.

Penicillin.

Polio Shots.

Frozen Foods.

Xerox Machines.

Contact Lenses.

Frisbees.

The Pill.


There were no:
Credit Cards.
Laser Beams.
Ball-point Pens


Man had not invented:
Pantyhose.
Air Conditioners.
Dishwashers.
Clothes Dryers - The clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air.
And man hadn't yet walked on the moon.
Your Grandfather and I got married first, and then lived together.
Every family had a father and a mother.
We were before gay rights, computer dating, dual careers, day care centers, and group therapy.
We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.
Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends - not purchasing condominiums.
We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, VCRs, CDs, electric typewriters, computers, I-pods, DVDs, cell-phones, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings.
If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan' on it, it was junk.
The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam.
Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.
We had 5 & 10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.
Ice cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel.
And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.
You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600... But who could afford one?
Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.



In my day:

"grass" was mowed.

"coke" was a cold drink.

"pot" was something your mother cooked in and

"rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby.

"Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office

"chip" meant a piece of wood

"hardware" was found in a hardware store and

"software" wasn't even a word.

And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby.


No wonder people call us "old and confused" and say there is a generation gap... And how old do you think I am ?"



Grandma would be only 58 years old.

Rupee should also have its own unique symbol !!!

The Government of India has invited the public to suggest a  symbol for the Rupee. Just as the Dollar is universally denoted by $‚
 the government thinks  the Rupee should also have its own unique symbol that captures a sense of India 's history and culture. Listed below are 19 suggestions from ET's team of designers in the mentioned link. Please vote for the one you find best. ET will present all these symbols ‚ along with the ET viewers' preference‚ to the Ministry of Finance.

 http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/rupeesurvey.cms

Personally I think its the most important aspect of BRAND INDIA. Surprisingly it has not been done till today. The idea is great. Do not let this oppertunity go...VOTE NOW !!!

DELHI 6

It's a crime even to think that someone had invested money in this disaster! I am not sure if it was a movie or some funny circus with a monkey and a dove taking your senses away, especially with the idotic climax. The chemistry between Abhishek Bachchan and Sonam Kapoor is bad though individually both have acted well. Personally for me, the only bearable thing in movie is its music. A. R. Rahman's has really done wonders for our ears. Romantic numbers (Dil Gira Dafatan, Rehna Tu), upbeat songs (Delhi-6, Genda Phool, Hey Kaala Bandar), the new styled (Masakkali), is a treat for everyone's musical tastes.

Highly Avoidable Movie !!

Check your passport over the internet...Amazing!!

Just type your first and last name.
useful when you need details & passport is away at home.








http://www.scrolllock.nl/passport/home.htm

Funny Reasons Why We Indians Cannot be Terrorists:

1. We are always late; we would have missed all 4 flights.

2. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves.

3. With free food & drinks on the plane, we would forget why we're there

4. We talk with our hands;therefore we would have to put our weapons down.

5. We would ALL want to fly the plane.

6. We would argue and start a fight in the plane.

7. We can't keep a secret; we would have told everyone a week before doing it.

8. We would have put our country's flag on the windshield.

9. We would have postponed the mission because a cricket match was going on that day

10. We would all have fallen over each other to be in the photograph being taken with one of the hostages

Break my arms...Joke !!

"Doctor", said the young man lying on the couch, "you`ve got to help! Every night I have the same horrible dream. I am lying in the bed when all of a sudden five women rush in and start tearing off my clothes."

The psychiatrist nodded, "And what would you do?"

"I push them away."

"I see. And what can I do to help you with this."

The patient implored, "Please...Break my arms."

Idotic Wit

It's  tough to stay married. My husband kisses the dog on the lips, yet he won't drink from my glass!

Last night my husband met me at the front door. He was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, he was coming home.

 I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service.

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at  all.

I knew a guy so ugly... they used him in prisons to cure  sex offenders.

My  husband is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen  the roaches hang themselves.

The  other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him,  'Why?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'

My  husband's such a bad cook, the dog begs for dog biscuits.

My  husband is such a bad cook, in my house we pray, not before, but  after the  meal.

 My  husband only has sex with me for a purpose.  Last night he used me to time an egg.

Panjoos...

I am betraying the faith of my brethren but this was too hilarious to pass up.....


A for Adjust.
Punjabis will always ask you to adjust whenever they want to push you around.

B for Backside.

It has nothing to do with your bum, it is an instruction to go to the rear of a building, or block, or shop or whatever.


C for Cloney.
It's not a process for replicating sheep, nor is its first name George. It is merely an area where people live e.g . ... Dfence Cloney.

D for Daru-sharu.
The most popular health & energy drink. It is believed that there must have been some error in the scientific conclusion that life began with water.


E for Expanditure.
Punjabis are never shy of spending money – the latest cars, gadgets, marble floors: their ambitions are always expanding.

F for Fackade.
Even though it sounds like a bad word it is actually just the front of a building (with backside being the back, of course).

G for Gaddi.
The way a Punjabi can pilot his gaddi puts any F1 driver to shame. (If the Grand Prix does come to Delhi there's no way a
Schumaker, Hamilton, Alonso or Kimi can overtake our Balvinder, Jasvinder, Sukhvinder or Harvinder.)

H for Ho Jayega Ji.
The moment you hear that you have to be careful because you can be reasonably sure it's not going to happen.

I for Intezaar.
To know more about it see P.

J for Jindagi.
If there's one person who knows how to live life to the fullest it's a Punjabi.

K for Khanna, Khurana, Khosla etc.
The Punjabi equivalent of the Joneses ( e.g. keeping up with the Khoslas')

L for Lovely.
Unfortunately she almost never is.

M for Mrooti.
The car that an entire generation of Punjabis were in love with.


N for No Problem Ji.
To find out how that works see H.

O for Oye.
This can be a surprise (Oyye!), a greeting (Oyy!), anger (OYY!) or pain (Oy oy oy...).

P for Panj Mint.
No matter how near (1 km) or far (100 km) a Punjabi is from you he always says he'll reach you in panj mint.

Q for Queue.
A word completely untranslatable into Punjabi.

R for Riks .
Punjabi is always prepared to take one, even if the odds are against him.

S for Sweetie.
Bunty, Pappu and Sonu, who seem to own half the cars in Delhi.

T for official bird of Punjab.
Tandoori chicken.

U for uncle ji.
When you lose your sex appeal and become 'Uncle-ji' (Aunti ji's please dont think you have been spared !!))

V for VIP.
Phone numbers @ Rs 15 lakh and counting.

W for Whan,
As in 'Whan are you coming, ji?'

X for the many X-rated.
Words that flow freely in all Punjabi conversations.

Y for 'You Nonsense'.
When anger replaces vocabulary in a shouting match.

Z for Zigzag.
Please refer to G, M and P.

Wife is Missing!

 

A man calls into the police station and says, "My wife is missing."

The officer asks, "How long has she been gone?"

"A month."

"Why did you wait so long to report it?"

"Well, until yesterday I thought it was just a dream, then I realized I didn't have any clean clothes to wear."

So cool! Dont Miss...

 

ABSOLUTELY MINDBLOWING ..

1. GO TO THE FOLLOWING SITE :

http://www.tatuagemdaboa.com.br

Wait for the lady to appear, then ...

2. WRITE YOUR FIRST NAME IN THE 1st LINE.

3. WRITE YOUR FAMILY NAME in the 2nd LINE

No need to write your e.mail address.

4. Press the VISUALIZAR bar.

QUESTIONS

Can you cry under water?

---

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

---

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

---

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

---

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

---

What disease did cured ham actually have?

---

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

---

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

---

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

---

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

---

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

---

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

---

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

---

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

---

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

---

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

---

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

---

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

---

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

---

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

---

Strange questions

PMO site..

PMO site..

http://pmindia.nic.in/write.htm

this is the link where aam janta (burgeois) can write comments what they feeeeeeel..

Walking for World Peace..

Keep him walking.
This man is walking the World for Peace. Please pass him on so that he can reach his destination.

This is really interesting how someone did this. He's walking around the world -- via e-mail!

Thunder is good..

Nice Quote that I read today morning>>


"Thunder is good, thunder is impressive, but it's lightning that does all the work!! - Mark Twain

Joke Or Truth Of Life>>:::Man with Good Habits!!

Once a man was waiting for a taxi.

A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man ignored him.
But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with some money.

Suddenly an idea struck him.He told the beggar, "I do not have money, but if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you."
"I would have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar.

The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea". He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar.

The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health."

The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good".

The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the liver".

The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going to the race course. Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets. If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone".

As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, "Sorry sir, I can't come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit."

Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his home with him. Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least something from the man. But he still had his doubts and asked the man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with you".

The man replied, "My wife always wanted to see how a man with no bad habits looks like."

Promotion

People who do lots of work...
make lots of mistakes

People who do less work...
make less mistakes

People who do no work...
make no mistakes

People who make no mistakes...
gets promoted

That's why I spend most of my time
sending e-mails & playing games at work
I need a promotion.