INDIA INDUCTS AWACS

The Indian Air Force on 28th May 2009, inducted its first "eye-in-the-sky" airborne warning and control systems (AWACS) which will detect incoming flying weapons and listen-in to aerial communications. Some interesting features of AWACS flying around the world are :-

-AWAC systems can detect aircraft from up to 400 km which is well out of range of most surface-to-air missiles.

-An AWACS plane flying at 30,000 ft (9,150 m) can cover an area of 312,000 square kms.

-The AWACS project is a tripartite contract between India, Israel and Russia and for this a $1.1 billion ( i.e approx Rs.5500 crore if $ is @ Rs.50/-) will be paid by India for three AWACS .
-The AWACS can also collect information about troop movements and missile launches even while "listening-in" to highly confidential communications between the enemy's front line units.

-India will be the first country in South Asia to own the advance AWACS.

- The Indian AWAC has been deployed on the IL-76 heavy transport aircraft.

Joke::: Fallen....

There was an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!

"Everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say instead that they had "fallen."

This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well until the priest passed away at a ripe old age.

A few days after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.

"Mayor, you have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep telling me they've fallen."

The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word. But, before he could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at him and shouted, "I don't know what you're laughing about, because your wife has already fallen three times this week!"

Big Ben Celebrates 150th Birthday

Big Ben is celebrating its 150th birthday on Sunday i.e 31.05.2009.

Some interesting information which i found was>>>

1. The tower of Big Ben is 96-meter in height.

2. There’s no elevator inside.

3. Everyone is not allowed inside, but for those who are allowed must climb 334 winding limestone stairs.

Wikipedia carries lots of such interesting information and here is the link to the same >>

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Ben

100th Anniversary Of the Lavoratory.

The Ukrainian-Russian art union, which organized the show, proposed to pedestrians to sit on the toilets and think about the problems produced by the economical crisis. The happening marks the 100th anniversary of the lavatory.

What an idea, to ponder upon economic problems, sitting on fancy seats...
I don’t know who is buying such fancy stuff...never seen it anywhere...Maybe, we in India consider this inconsequential.. but to think of it seriously...100 years old invention is still working well today !!!!
Maybe its time for me to build a house...
Here is the link to the news>>>>


http://www.hindustantimes.com/PhotoGallery/Photos_Storypage.aspx?Category=May282009views

EXCLUSIVELY FOR ENGINEERS

Question: We know that 2/10=0.2

but

Prove that 2/10=2

Answer : Normal college students insist Question is "OUT of Syllabus".

but

Engineer explained >>

2=two,
10=ten.

therefore Two/Ten = Two/Ten = wo/en.

w=23,
o=15,
e=5,
n=14.

therefore

w+o=23+15=38

&

e+n=5+14=19

Therefore wo/en=38/19= 2.

Hence Proved J

Ruskin Bond

The first book read by me of the great author was 'Room On The Roof' when it was prescribed as a compulsory novel in class 10. It also happens to be his first novel. Leaving aside his childrens writing, I have read his short stories and other novels but somehow still like 'Room On The Roof' as the best.

I have has the good fortune to get his autographs on one of his newly launched book a few years back. Aditya, my son, has been prescribed with one of Ruskin's Children stories book in his school. When I showed him the autographed book by Ruskin Bond he was quite surprised as maybe he never expected to see the real autograph of the author.

Wikipedia has lot of information about the author and the same can be read at >>

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruskin_Bond

The author has also been reffered to as the BOND OF BOOKS and a a nice article in The Hindustan Times can be read at>>
http://www.hindustantimes.com/StoryPage/StoryPage.aspx?id=5fdfa71e-fb4c-4769-8a82-9e22e96431a6

I hope I will be able to meet the author some day soon...or maybe I should take a trip to Dehra (Dehradoon) to find him..

Swine flu panic in India

Just read this news>>


New Delhi: The H1N1 influenza scare threatens to go out of hand in India with two co-passengers of the infected Hyderabad man who had tested positive last week showing symptoms of the ailment. All three of them were among 156 people on board the Emirates airline flight from New York to Hyderabad via Dubai that landed in the Andhra Pradesh capital last Wednesday.

read more at >>>

http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?newsid=1257109

Joke-Pa Won't Like It

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Willis, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later."

"That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."

"Aw come on boy," the farmer insisted.


"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it."

After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."


"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?"

"Under the wagon."

:-)

Joke::A woman comes home ..

A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those Headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."

";No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"

His wife replies, Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me To Stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat

";I do not Have a Headache;

I do not have a headache,

I do not have a headache."

It Worked! The headaches are all gone."

The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful."

His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball Of Fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the Hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"

The husband agrees to try it

Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.

He Puts her on The bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." He goes into The Bathroom and comes back. A few minutes later and jumps into bed And makes Passionate love to his wife like never before.

His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"

The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back." He goes back Into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than The First time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning.

Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." With that, He goes back in the bathroom.

This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the Bathroom, She sees him standing at the mirror and saying,

";She's not my Wife.

She's Not my wife.

She's not my wife..."

His funeral services will be held on Sunday.

Belief

In a small town in India , a person decided to open up his Bar business, which was right opposite to the Temple . The Temple & its congregation started a campaign to block the Bar from opening with petitions and prayed daily against his business.

Work progressed. However, when it was almost complete and was about to open a few days later, a strong lightning struck the Bar and it was burnt to the ground.

The temple folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, till the Bar owner sued the Temple authorities on the grounds that the Temple through its congregation & prayers was ultimately responsible for the demise of his bar shop, either through direct or indirect actions or means.

In its reply to the court, the temple vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection that their prayers were reasons to the bar shop's demise.

As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and commented:-

'I don't know how I am going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer and we have an entire temple and its devotees that don't !!!!!

So, dear friends, what do you believe in?????

BOTOX - Black Box Warnings.

The black box warning was just one of several moves the FDA announced regarding the products. The Food and Drug Administration (FDA or USFDA) is an agency of the United States Department of Health and Human Services and is responsible for regulating and supervising the safety of foods, dietary supplements, drugs, vaccines, biological medical products, blood products, medical devices, radiation-emitting devices, veterinary products, and cosmetics.

The manufacturers will also be required to:

• Inform users in writing about the potential risk for distant spread at the time of injection.
• Warn doctors and patients about the risks associated with substituting one botulism product for another. The products have different dosing units, which are incompatible, so switching products can result in dangerous overdosing.
• Follow a group of children and adults using Botox, Myobloc, or Dysport off-label to treat involuntary muscle movement and submit safety data to the agency.

Read more about BOTOX warnings on >>>>

http://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/news/20090430/black-box-warning-for-botox

Do we have any such type of regulation in India??

Swine Flu FAQ

Swine Flu FAQ

WebMD Provides Answers to Your Questions About Swine Flu

Link >>>

http://www.webmd.com/cold-and-flu/flu-guide/20061101/swine-flu-faq

The Perfect Husband- Joke

Several men are in the changing room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and began to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Darling, it's me.. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat.. It's only $ 1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure,..go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2009 models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: " $ 70,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $ 950,000"

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of 900,000. They will probably take it.. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It really is a pretty good price."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape..... He smiles and asks:

"Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

-------Lesson----------

A Good Wife Never Bothers TO Recognize The Voice , If Things Are Coming Favourably.

Mental Asylum- Joke or Truth?

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the Director how they determined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

FUN::::If you love somebody..

The Old Version
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, she never was....

The New Version(s)

Pessimist:
If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, well, as expected, she never was.

Optimist:
If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
Don't worry, she will come back.

Suspicious:
If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient:
If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she doesn't comes back within some time forget her.

Patient:
If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she comes back ...

Playful:
If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
* If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her free again, repeat *

Animal-Rights Activist:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!

Lawyers:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that...

Bill Gates:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she comes back,
I think we can charge her for re-installation fees and but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.

Biologist:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
She'll evolve.

Statistician:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high If she doesn't, your relation was improbable anyway.

Schwarzenegger' s Fan:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
SHE'LL BE BACK!

Over Possessive:
If you love somebody
don't set her free.

MBA:
If you love somebody
set her free...
instantaneously. ..
and look for others simultaneously

Psychologist:
If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, her super ego is dominant If she doesn't come, back her id is supreme If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.

Somnambulist:
If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, it's a nightmare
If she doesn't, you must be dreaming.

Finance Expert:
If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, it's time to look for fresh loans.
If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.

Marketing Expert:
If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, she has brand loyalty If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new markets.

Men Will Be Men

A circus owner advertised for a lion tamer but only two people applied, one a shapely lady and the other a young man. The circus owner warned them that the lion was very ferocious and had just eaten the last tamer. Both the applicants answered that they were not afraid and would like to have a go at it.

The lady chose to go first. Walking towards the lions cage, she ignored the chair, the whip and the pistol the owner had provided them. She bravely entered the cage.

The lion immediately charged at her, growling and snarling and showing its teeth in threatening fashion. However, it stopped short of attacking. And then, surprisingly, it gave out a kittenish purr and snuggled close to the lady. First, pressing against the lady"s face it gradually began kissing and licking all over her. After a while, it dropped on its hind legs and slumped down and rested against the thighs of the lady. The owner was utterly taken in. He turned to the young man and said, "Can you top that?"

"Sure," replied the young man. "Just get the lion out of the way."