Idotic Wit

It's  tough to stay married. My husband kisses the dog on the lips, yet he won't drink from my glass!

Last night my husband met me at the front door. He was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, he was coming home.

 I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service.

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at  all.

I knew a guy so ugly... they used him in prisons to cure  sex offenders.

My  husband is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen  the roaches hang themselves.

The  other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him,  'Why?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'

My  husband's such a bad cook, the dog begs for dog biscuits.

My  husband is such a bad cook, in my house we pray, not before, but  after the  meal.

 My  husband only has sex with me for a purpose.  Last night he used me to time an egg.